Tuesday, November 21, 2006

If I Did It

If I wrote this blog, here’s how I would do it…


Michael Richards went nuts onstage and a reporter from the New York Post asked me to comment on it. I told him that Michael Richards went nuts onstage.

I, personally, believe that if it’s not in your heart, it’s not on your tongue but to that, I will offer this caveat … maybe not always. If a kid says, “I hate you!” to a parent, he probably feels quite the opposite and is just screaming the most upsetting thing out of complete frustration. If this is what happened to Michael Richards then he needs anger management, he needs to explore the roots of his rage and he needs to keep ever present the realization that as much as he hates those hecklers, Mel Gibson hates him even more.

Photo Essay

Dating at Ten

Andy and Jo

Dating at Fifteen

Maggie and Jake

Dating at 80

Ari and Fini

Weezy & The Swish

On our Podcast, we welcomed G4- TVs Guy Branum to celebrate the launch of next gen gaming consoles, Play Station 3 and Nintendo Wii. This seemed like a good idea until Guy arrived without a Play Station 3 or a Nintendo Wii for us to play.

I watched with interest as people camped out for days at a Best Buy in an effort to obtain these coveted items. I find it compelling that in order to lay your hands on the latest piece of modern technology, one had to revert to the oldest form of subsistence. ie: sleeping in the mud and eating Cheese-Its by the light of your Gameboy.

Comedy Nights

Comedy Nights has added an additional comedy night. We will premiere at Rocks, 801 State Street, Santa Barbara, on Wednesday, November 29th at 8:00 pm. (see above)

Meanwhile, down at Brick’s on Thursday night this week, all heck broke loose. It was a tasty scuffle and I did not capture it on tape because I was in a meeting with the owner, but even if I had, I would not use it here. I would sell it to TMZ. (that’s a joke, because I am a comedian)

What happens at Brick’s, cuz it’s crazy down State Street, is that people tend to arrive drunk. So, by 11:00 pm or so, they are really, really drunk. It’s a loud, tough room to work but the atmosphere is friendly, the food is great and the comedy is funny.

Back to my story… There was a table full of party girls, including Hannah who’s feeling merry because she’s taking a trip to Amsterdam. They were fairly chatty when I was on stage, so I talked to them. They’re happy, they’re drunk, they're friendly, they’re going to Amsterdam, and most notably, they’re drunk. We had fun with it. Exhibit A:

However when our headliner, Graham Elwood took the stage, he was not feeling their mood. I was in the back with Wally. I heard a lot of yelling and a lot of laughter and I thought everything was fine.

It turns out that Hannah would not stop talking and Graham would not stop hollering. The audience was still laughing and we seemed to be teetering within the bounds of chaotic control. Then one of our other comics stood up and yelled, “SHUT THE F@#*K UP!” That was a bit of a buzz kill.

However, now that Michael Richards has shown us how horrible it could have become, I commend you, Graham Elwood for handling things as eloquently as you did. As enraged as you were at Hannah, at no point did you hurl anything racial. Now, given, she’s a blonde girl from Santa Barbara but still, it could have gone ugly and it didn’t.

Also, Graham did not go on Letterman to apologize. He phoned me. The point of my blog is that yes, we do lose our temper, yes we can be pushed to the edge and yes, sometimes it happens publicly. What’s important is that it’s captured on tape and sold for money and I failed to do that.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Partying with Weezy and The Swish

The tone of the Podcast took a drastic turn towards tawdry this week when my friend, Howard Lapidus took the reigns as we broadcast from my recent birthday party. Under Howard’s command, topics of very little interest to Laura and me, such as porn and strippers permeated the show’s culture so if that is your taste, dive in to the debauchery, but swimmer beware. Guests who popped in to appear on the Podcast included: my cousins, Patricia Bock and Lee Jay Berman, Steve O’Donnell, Premiere Radio President, Kraig Kitchin, Kyle Cease, Bob Bledsoe and My Mom!

Here’s a video blog that captures a very special evening created for me by my Mother, my brother and my sisters.

Party Highlights

My Mom, Me, Cousin Lois, Brother Craig, Sister, Joann

Kyle Cease with Comedy Youngbloods, Devon Suraco and Adrian Mendoza

Premiere Radio founding partners, Kraig Kitchin, Me, Tim Kelly

Aaron’s Bar Mitzvah

Other than to tell you that he was perfect, I don’t have words for this. Aaron was spectacular. A wonderful time was had. Our band, Spitvalve played and here are some photo highlights.

Spitvalve live in concert

Reception guests perform the sacred ritual of placing the Bar Mitzvah boy in a chair and bashing him into the ceiling.

Within a year, he'll be taller than his Mom. Happy Bar Mitzvah, Aaron!

Comedy Nights

Beginning, Wednesday, November 29th, Comedy Nights will open in a second Santa Barbara location… In addition to Brick's at 509 State Street on Thursday nights, we will be at Rocks, 801 State Street every Wednesday night. The show will begin at 8:00 with a $10 cover. We hope to see you there.

This Week's Troubling Question

At Comedy Nights: Bricks, how did Comedian Eric Schwartz,

get this man to do this:

Answer: He asked him to.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Shame on the Media

Sarcastic Editorial

It’s a sad day in American pop culture when Britney Spears files for divorce and CNN and MSNBC continue to cover the election. What other news did we miss while the nation was gripped by its obsession with the democratic process? What if Madonna had adopted another baby? What if Nicole Richie had eaten a cookie? Then what? I think it’s time we as Americans pull together and continue to focus on our empty headed celebrities even, or should I say, especially when it’s tempting to be pulled away by meaningful events.

Sure, Britney's baby can drive, but can he do standup? The above image was created by my sister, Joann for my birthday. (that's really me but I don't think I was drawing crowds like that until I was three.)

Comedy Nights

It was a very exciting Thursday night in Santa Barbara with both Dov Davidoff and Bryan Callen taking the stage at Brick’s Café. Click below for highlights.

Weezy and The Swish

Us with Kira

Borderline chaotic is the best way to describe our Podcast this week. Kira Saltanovich was our guest and we had documentary filmmaker, Justin “JD” Cohen here along with his camera to interview us on the subject of “funny.” This insighted more than a little pressure to actually be funny. Were we up to the challenge? Check out this week's Weezy and The Swish.

The following video blog was re-cut three times by me due to my recurring inability to correctly spell “Kira Saltanovich.


Spitvalve is: Preston, Lee Jay, Austin, Stephen, Dev, Me and in front,
Aaron and Emma.

This Saturday, November 11th, my cousin Aaron will celebrate his Bar Mitzvah and in preparation for the festivities, our band, Spitvalve has been rehearsing and preparing six songs which we will perform live at the reception. We have been having a blast and you are welcome to enjoy some highlights…

Happy Birthday to me and have a great week!